The difference between a “good ASK” and a “bad ASK” is the level of confidence and urgency that you convey in your request. A “good ASK” is one that shows that you have a clear vision, a strong value proposition, and a realistic plan for achieving your goal. A “bad ASK” is one that shows that you are desperate, needy, or clueless about what you want or how to get it.

A “good ASK” has the following characteristics:

It is specific and measurable. You know exactly what you want, why you want it, and how you will measure your success.

It is relevant and aligned. 

You have done your research and you know that your request is appropriate for the person, situation, and timing.

It is reasonable and realistic. 

You have considered the costs and benefits of your request and you are not asking for something impossible or unreasonable.

It is respectful and polite. 

You acknowledge the other person’s perspective and you express your gratitude and appreciation for their help.

A “bad ASK” has the opposite characteristics:

It is vague and ambiguous. 

You are not sure what you want, why you want it, or how you will know if you get it.

It is irrelevant and misaligned. 

You have not done your homework and you are asking for something that is inappropriate, inconvenient, or out of context.

It is unreasonable and unrealistic. You are asking for something that is too much, too soon, or too risky for the other person to agree to.

It is disrespectful and rude. You ignore the other person’s feelings and needs and you demand or beg for their help.

A “good ASK” can help you achieve your goals, build trust, and create win-win situations. A “bad ASK” can damage your reputation, ruin relationships, and create lose-lose situations. Therefore, it is important to learn how to make effective and respectful requests that benefit both parties.

Demonstrate that you're a key person of influence and people will want to be around you.  